Wizard of the Weird
by Hikari980
Summary: “Ah! What a great day for sailing!” “Hey! Looks like a storm!”“But this boat's not made for a hurricane!”“Yeah tell me about it. Who’s idea was it to make a boat out of Styrofoam anyway?”
1. Chapter1:Nathan the hurricane

Hikari: Well, this is the first chapter of my newest story, it took a REALLY long time to finish it! anime tears

Sunny: That's because you procrastinated the story so much.

Hikari: gasp Me! Procrastinate! guilty look ….Ok, maybe just a little bit…..

Sunny: Sweat drop Start the story Hikari.

Hikari: Oh all right. Don't forget to review!

* * *

"Ah! What a great day for sailing!"

"Hey! Looks like a storm!"

"But this boat not made for a hurricane!"

"Yeah tell me about it. Who's idea was it to make a boat out of Styrofoam anyway?"

* * *

Chapter 1:Nathan the hurricane and an island named Joesterville.

A lone sail boat crossed the lonely waters of some unnamed ocean. The weather was crisp, cool and very, very windy; A perfect day for sailing. Said sailboat was, from a distance, an elegantly crafted vessel with….no sail……'wait WHAT! A SAILBOAT WITH NO SAIL? Then how's it going so fast!' You'd probably think. But this is no ordinary sailboat. This is the St. Jimmy, a sail boat made completely out of Styrofoam, sailed by four teenage girls.

A girl walks up on deck of the St. Jimmy and stretches her arms. Her shoulder length blonde hair gleamed brightly in the tropical afternoon sun and her grey, happy bunny tank top that said "Hi, loser." and black jeans seemed to have a mind of their own as they danced in the breeze.

"Having fun?" The blonde looked behind her with icy blue eyes to another girl who was steering the strangely crafted boat. The girl in question had waist length dark brown hair and dressed in baggy black pants and a black t-shirt that read "One by one penguins are stealing my sanity" in big red letters. She was watching her cousin with completely black eyes.

"Yeah! It was a good idea to come out here today," Said the blonde as she walked over to the brunette. "So, do you have ANY idea where we're going?"

"Uhhh…..Of course I do….." Said brunette shifting her black eyes in a suspious way.

"Riiigghhtttt……" the blonde said, obviously not convinced.

"Hey guys!" A voice from inside the cabin said. Soon after two other girls emerged from below the deck of the St. Jimmy, both were blondes. The first was the shortest and probably youngest of this crew of teenagers. Her blonde, curly hair fell to below her waist and her eyes that were as blue as the waters they were traveling on. She wore a white Happy Bunny t-shirt that said "whatever" on it and a pair of denim jean shorts. Let's call the first blonde we've encountered blonde #1, this blonde, blonde #2, and the next one blonde #3. Blonde #3 had on black jeans and a t-shirt that read "By reading this I can momentarily read you're mind."

"I just realized that we don't have sails!" exclaimed Blonde #3 with a worried look.

Brunette just shrugged "The sails would have been too heavy. And you just now realized this after THREE days of sailing?"

"Uh….Well, I never thought about it till now." Blonde #3 said with a laugh. Blonde #1 just sighed and looked to starboard while Brunette just laughed and continued steering.

"Ah! What a great day for sailing!" said Blonde #2

Blonde #1 suddenly gasped and said, "Hey! Looks like a storm!"

The others looked toward the big swirling mass of what looked like a hurricane. Blonde #3 started to head for the cabin "But this boat's not made for a hurricane!" The others joined her on the way below deck. Before Brunette locked the cabin doors she said, "Yeah tell me about it, who's idea was it to make a boat out of Styrofoam anyway?"

The hurricane, which will be called Nathan from now on, picked up the St. Jimmy as though it were a bath toy and spun it around for a good deal making the girls very sick in the process before dropping them on a deserted island. The thing was, this island WASN'T so deserted. It was, in fact, populated by many people and things. And Nathan didn't just drop the St. Jimmy on this so called deserted island, but on four of the most powerful people there; The four directional witch sisters, East, West, North, and Susan.

A short time later after the four crewmembers of the St. Jimmy had made their heads stop spinning, they climbed out of their now in half ship and onto the grassy cliff of this strange island that Nathan had decided to drop them on. That's also when they noticed four pairs of feet sticking out from under the bow of St. Jimmy.

"AAHHHH!" screamed Blonde #2 and #3 as Blonde #1 and Brunette just stared wide-eyed. "We CRUSHED them!"

"But HOW!" said Brunette. "Jimmy's made outta STYROFOAM!"

"I guess anything can happen." Said Blonde #1.

"Of course it can! At least here anyway." Said a voice from behind.

"AHHH!" All four girls screamed as they came face to face with something straight out of some insane, sugar-high teenage girl's daydream. (Hint, hint people.) It was a fox, or looked a lot like one except two small details; One, the fox had three horns sticking out of its forehead. One large horn grew at the center with two much smaller horns on either side of it. Two, this fox had deep emerald eyes. Strangely enough (if this wasn't already strange enough.) The fox had white feathered wings that were folded neatly on its back. The fox was what Blonde #1 later described as a Phoenix Fox, a small desert fox with ears that were too big for its head and were about the size of a large cat. (These animals DO exist, though they don't have green eyes, wings, or horns…That I know of.) The fox's bushy tail twitched slightly in annoyance by being screamed at (they have a very sensitive sense of hearing. What? You thought those ears were just to make them look cute?) and frowned. Its tawny fur stood up on end, but it continued, deciding to ignore the little out burst. "Like I said; Anything can happen here."

"Ooookkkkk….. Where is 'here' anyway?" Brunette said to the strange fox.

"You're on the island Joesterville." The fox looks behind Brunette to the four pairs of feet sticking out from under Jimmy. "And it seems you four are to be rewarded."

Blonde #2 looked from the fox to the dead people then back to the fox. "REWARDED! We just KILLED some people!"

Blonde #3 looked to the strange, fluffy creature. "Aren't you gonna put us in jail or something!"

The fox looked at the girls strangely. "Are you kidding? You just wiped out the Directional Witch Sisters. The most tyrannical leaders Joesterville's ever had!" The fox thought a moment and said, "But I guess you didn't know that since you just got here… Eh, whatever. Let's go tell the others."

"Others?" Said Brunette.

The fox looked back at her as it began to walk off somewhere. "Of course! C'mon!"

And with that the girls followed the strange fox through a forest with one hell of a lot of weird noises coming from what appeared to be half monkey half bird hybrids. To a small town that looked like four hundred years ago Tokyo. There weren't many people there, but they stared in amazement at the new comers. Soon this merry band of girls (and a fox) reached a palace at the edge of the town.

"Ooooo…. Big castle!" said the girls as they walked through the gates into a garden-like courtyard. The fox just rolled his eyes and led the group inside the castle to a large room. "This is the castle of Elements. Now, sit down and introduce yourselves." Said the fox.

"Hey you can't just order us around!" yelled Brunette.

"Oh yes I can." It said.

"Nuh uh!" said Brunette.

"Yeah huh!" It responded.

"Will you two just shut up!" The Blondes asked in a VERY polite manner. (notice the sarcasm peoples.)

"Fine." The two said glaring at each other.

"Now will you sit down so we can introduce ourselves properly!" Asked the blondes, again VERY politely.

Brunette sat down with a huff and the introductions began.

Blonde #1 went first.

"My name is Fwee. I'm 15 years old and this is my sister."

"Pan-Pan, 14. Nice to meet you." Finished Blonde #3 a.k.a. Pan-Pan.

"My name is Pon-Pon! I'm 13 years old and I'm the mini me of Pan-Pan! It's very nice to meet you Mr. Fox!"

"Ooookkkkk…." Said the fox obviously weirded-out by Pon-Pon's cheerfulness. "So who're you?" It said looking to Brunette.

"My name's Kevin. 15. Pon-Pon's my sister and Pan-Pan and Fwee are my cousins."

"Hmm…. Well, I'm known as Hiromaru, Hiro for short. I'm the demon of wind and Kevin's new partner." The fox….Hiro said.

"Wha! Partner!" Kevin said. (more like yelled)

"What are you talking about, Hiromaru?" Asked Fwee.

"Well, you see, you four are the chosen ones, the Maidens of the Elements." Stated Hiro.

"Maidens of the Elements?" asked Pan-Pan.

"Yes. You, Pan-Pan, are the maiden of fire, Pon-Pon is the maiden of water, Fwee's the maiden of earth, and Kevin's the maiden of wind." Hiro answered.

"Wind! Why'm I maiden of gay-ass, pansy wind! Why not fire! Fire kicks ass!" Pouted Kevin. Hiro just looked just about to kill Kevin, but said deathfully calm,

"…..You DO know that I am an embodiment of wind….right?"

The two new found "partners" continued to fight long into the night. What did the others do at that point? They pretty much just got a servant of the overly large palace to show them around and then they ate, discussed their current situation, and eventually fell asleep in their separate rooms that had been prepared for them in the Castle of Elements.

* * *

Hikari: FINISHED! Woo! Finally done! plays air guitar

Sunny: …..Anyway the next chapter may take a while…a LONG while, if we don't get enough reviews. (hint, hint) So click that little button down there and tell us what you think.


	2. Chapter2:What, no waffles?

Hikari: 'Ello my duckies! Here to see me again! I must be so loved!

Sunny: rolls eyes I think they're here for the second chapter, not you.

Hikari: anger mark No one asked for YOUR opinion! Stupid tiger demon.

Sunny: ….Just start the next chapter Hikari….

Hikari: Fine!

* * *

"You actually WANT us to steal from dead poeple! Poeple WE murdered!"

"Yeah. That's the plan"

* * *

The sun peaked over the distant mountains. The bird-monkeys sang/hooted their songs. Everything was quite, everything was perfect……Sorta.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE WAFFLES!" Shrieked a voice, a very familiar voice. In the dining room of the Castle of Elements there was a table, and sitting around said table, let's call it Bill for now, were the four girls and Hiromaru, the Wind Fox. At the moment Kevin was currently sitting across from a very ruffled Hiromaru who was covering his sensitive ears with his paws. Kevin had been both shocked and appalled to hear the most recent news, Joesterville, the village that they were in, had no waffles what so ever. They hadn't even HEARD of waffles. (Kevin loves waffles, much like me. So this is a REALLY big deal for her.)

"How can you not have waffles?" she asked shocked, "These are WAFFLES we're talking about! Waffles!"

Hiromaru just continued holding his poor ears and said "Stop screaming!"

"Uh, guys? I'll bet we could just make some." Fwee suggested.

"That's it! I know how to make waffles!" Said Pan-Pan, her face lit up with inspiration.

"Yeah! We can get them to stop fighting if we make waffles!" Exclaimed Pon-Pon, her face almost a mirror image of Pan-Pan's. "But I wonder if the kitchen has all the ingredients?"

"Well, we could improvise I guess." Pan-Pan said as she got up and headed to the kitchen.

"Hey, I almost forgot to tell you" Said Hiromaru.

"What?" asked Fwee, who was holding Kevin back from killing the Wind fox.

"You guys will need to awaken your elemental partners sometime soon." Hiromaru said plainly.

"Elemental partners?" Asked Pon-Pon.

"Oh! You mean like you and Kevin?" Said Fwee.

"Yes, only you all won't have as much of a difficult time hopefully." He said, glancing at Kevin wearily. She returned the look, but stayed quite. "You'll have to go to their separate domains to wake them though so it'll probably take a while."

"How long?"

"Oh, maybe a week if you don't have the shoes."

"Shoes? What shoes?"

"Didn't you get the shoes that the Four Directional Sisters had?"

"Why would we take things from dead people!"

Sighing, Hiromaru turned to the entrance of the massive castle and began to make his way to the gates. "Great. We'll have to get the shoes before we do anything else."

Kevin ran to catch up to him followed by the others.

"You actually WANT us to steal from dead people! People WE murdered!"

"Yeah that's the plan." Hiromaru stated as they pasted the guards stationed at the front gates and made their way back to the cliff where they first discovered the existence of Joesterville and its strange inhabitants. "You can'tenter the Elemental Temples without them."

On the cliff the group came upon the wreckage that was once their beloved St. Jimmy, and the crunched corpses of East, West, North, and Susan who still were under Jimmy, still crunched, and still had on their cool, magical shoes. Hiromaru trotted up to them, sat and looked to the four.

"Well? Get the shoes!" They just stared at him like he had grown another head. (Which would actually be kinda cool, but that's not the point.) Pan-Pan walked up to Hiromaru and looked at the four different pairs of red shoes.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course! Your shoes are the High-topped converses. Pon-Pon, yours are the low-top converses, Fwee's are the flip-flops, and Kevin's are the combat boots."

"Sweet! Combat boots! Beats the crap outta your wussy flip-flops, huh Fwee?" Said Kevin as she removed the (kick-ass) red combat boots from West's feet. Fwee took the flip-flops from East with a look that said 'Shut-the-f-up-before-I-lose-my-cool-and-fing-kill-you-Kevin!' The others seemed a little TOO overjoyed with taking their new shoes from the last two Directional Sisters.

"Wow! These look sooo cool!" Said Pan-Pan as she modeled the high tops for no one in particular.

"Yeah!" Agreed Pon-Pon as she too modeled her low tops.

"Whoop-dee-doo." Said Hiromaru (hey that rhymed!) rolling his emerald orbs and began to take off toward somewhere unknown. "Now let's go. We've got the shoes so now you all can enter the temples."

Again Kevin and the others ran to catch up to the Wind fox as he hurried off to wherever he was going.

After a long time of mindless walking through the bird/monkey forest as it's now called, the band of people (plus fox) came upon a set of large massive stone doors that had been taken by the forest. The vines and moss covering the doors prevented it from being opened. Carvings of intricate designs were barely noticeable through the foliage as they approached the entranceway to some unknown place.

"Well, this is the Temple of Earth. Fwee, this is where you'll find your partner. You should be alright if you don't relax your guard too much. Once you find it, return to the castle. Good luck. Let's go you three." And with that Hiromaru turned and began to leave.

"Wait a second! Where are you going! Aren't you guys going to help me!" Asked Fwee with astonishment.

"Nope. You have to go in alone and come out alone. It's YOUR partner after all."

Oh. Ok. See ya later guys." And with that the group of five became four as Fwee turned back to the Temple of Earth and the rest started off to their next destination.

The next temple took the group to another part of the island. They finally came across a lake in the middle of a flat field. At the bottom of the lake was an old temple. It rested in the middle of another field, this one was a field of rippling, waving sea weed. There were a few random fish swimming around here and there, but otherwise, the temple was completely deserted.

"This is the Temple of Water. Remember, meet back at the castle when you're finished here. Bye then."

an-Pan and Pon-Pon had to be physically ripped apart so that the remaining three could continue on their journey. Next stop, a non-active volcano. The entrance was carved right into the side of it. The doors were exactly like the Water and Earth Temples, the two girls noticed. Though soot-covered and worn from it's time there, it remained completely intact.

"Pan-Pan? Welcome to the Fire Temple. Don't forget-"

"-come back to the to the castle when your done. I know, see you guys later." With that Pan-Pan turned to the Fire Temple leaving the last two to their thoughts as they made their way back to the

* * *

Castle of Elements. 

Hikari: phew Done! This was a good chapter!

Sunny: Yeah it was. Not quite as insane as the first one, but not bad.

Hikari: Well, don't forget to review and watch out for the next chapter of WOW! (Wizard of the Weird.) Now go ahead, click the little button down there that says "submit review." Come on! I know you can do it! If you want to keep all your limbs- I mean!- If you want to be filled with the overflowing joy of reviewing- I suggest you do it now! innocent face


	3. Chapter3:The Earth Temple and a new muse

Hikari: Chapter 3! I guess you'll be wanting to read this chappy right?

Sunny: I think they will…..

Hikari: ………

Sunny: …..Well?

Hikari: Huh? Oh yeah!

Sunny: Forgive her. She's writing this at checks clock 2:37 AM so her brain's working less than it usually does sweat drop

* * *

With Fwee: (all of the italics will be her thoughts. Just so you don't get too confused.)

Fwee turned her back on her friends as they walked away and faced the massive door. _What am I gonna do? I guess I try pushing it open. _With that she leaned against the ancient stone door and pushed as hard as she could…..And nothing happened. _Damn! They didn't even budge! Hey, what are these?_ Carved into the entrance to the Earth temple was a sentence. A sentence that probably held the answer to getting in since it made no sense what so ever. (Why are most things like this? There's never a simple explanation like "don't push the door, PULL the door!" or "use your mad crazy monkey powers on the lock!" or something like that.) The carvings said: "_only the one with the element of the mother Gaia may enter." Of course! Mother Gaia is the earth itself! _(Damn she's smart!)

"I have the element of Earth!" Suddenly a loud booming voice that seemed to come from the doors themselves said.

"Oh yeah? Prove it!"

"Huh!" Fwee almost lost her balance when she jumped back in surprise. "Who's there!"

"Me" said the voice. "I am the entrance to the Temple of Earth!"

"….You're a door?"

"I prefer to be called "the entrance"

"Ooookkkkk….What do you mean 'prove it?'"

"Prove that you have the power of Earth."

Fwee looked puzzled as the door spoke. _How am I going to prove that I control the element of earth? Hmm…Think, Hiromaru said that I couldn't get in without these flip-flops that I took from East, but how do flip-flops help me? Uh…I think I could-- NO! That's way too easy! …But I might as well try it. _And with a shrug she looked to the door.

"I've got the red flip-flops."

The door paused in mid sentence about how inferior humans were to "entrances."

"Hey! You do! Stylish little things. Go on in." And with that the Entrance opened without hesitation.

"Uh…Are you serious?"

"Of course!"

"Ooookkkkk…." And with that Fwee entered the Earth Temple. _Well, that was easy. Why didn't they just write that you needed these shoes to get in? _(Why indeed, Fwee.)

With Kevin and Hiromaru after dropping the others off at their separate temples:

"Um, Hiro?"

"What?"

"Now that the others are gone, what do we do?"

"Uhhh….I guess we go back to the Castle of Elements and wait for them to return."

"…..And how long will THAT take?"

"……Uh, I don't know. A day or so I guess."

"So we have to wait an entire DAY for them to get back! What am I gonna do! I've got the attention span of a small rodent!" (I know what you mean, Kevin.)

"Stop your screaming woman. We can probably find something to do."

"Oh! Let's go to the St. Jimmy! I've got TONS of things we can do! I got by three days of open waters without killing myself out of boredom with those things!"

"But we have to wait for the others to return."

"Fine. We'll grab the stuff and take it back to the castle! That should work, right?"

"I don't see why not. Let's go then."

And thus the two partners changed course, heading toward Jimmy.

Now back to Fwee:

The Earth temple was very large. The ceiling was almost not visible from the light of the torches that were lit on each side of the long stairway Fwee was now traveling on. The stairway snaked its way down, down to an even larger chamber deep beneath the surface. _Phew! That was tiring. Now where am I? _Fwee left the staircase and began to make her way to the center of the chamber. Fwee looked down at her hands. _Sheesh! It's so dark in here I can barely see my hand in front face! What happened to all the torches? _But before she could finish her thoughts she looked up. Right in front of her was the biggest rat she had ever seen. It barely fit in the chamber and the room was bigger than a football stadium AND the parking lot for the West Ridge Mall in Topeka (That place rocks!) put together. (And that's VERY big my duckies!) It seemed to be sleeping which was good for Fwee 'cause it could have swallowed her in one gulp. _WAHHHH! _Thought Fwee since she had clamped her mouth shut with her hand hoping not to wake the slumbering rodent. _I almost ran into it! Good thing I didn't. This thing's almost as big as a football field and the parking lot for West Ridge put together!_ (See? Fwee knows what I'm talking about.)_ Wait! Is THIS thing my partner? Hiromaru did say that I'd have to awaken the Earth elemental and this thing's underground AND he's sleeping…At least I think it's a he. Whatever, now how do I wake him, or her, IT up?_ Not coming up with a better plan, Fwee moved to closer tothe rat and very softly nudged its snout.

"Uh, hello? Wake up please! (Hey, don't make fun of her! You'd be polite too if you had to wake something ten times your size.) One large black eye opened and looked sleepily down at Fwee.

"Is it morning already?" Fwee moved back as the rat lifted its massive head and yawned lazily, scratching its left ear with its foot. "I could have sworn it was later than this!"

"Um, good morning. Are you the embodiment of earth?" Fwee asked staring up at the sleepy rat.

The rat looked down at her. "Yes, yes I am."

With Kevin and Hiromaru, at the Castle of Elements:

After getting all of the things out of Jimmy, they had returned to the castle with a large bundle. Most of the servants had commented on it but had only received a "To keep her from jumping off the roof." from the Wind fox. Said wind fox was being told what a "PS2" was and what it did from his human partner.

"Ya see, you can play almost ANYTHING on this thing! CDs, DVDs, games, its freakin' amazing! All you need to do is use the controller and all its wonderment is at your fingertips!"

"I don't have fingertips."

"Oh, well, I guess not. That's too bad."

"I am most curious about this PS2's power so one second." And with that a small tornado swirled around Hiromaru completely hiding him from view this only lasted a second where the tornado dissipated and in the place of the fox was a boy. He had hair that was the same tawny gold of Hiromaru's that fell short of his knees, instead of the three horns that Hiromaru had, this boy had one horn coming out of the middle of his forehead. But, hell, he even had the same fox ears and a fox tail as Hiromaru. He looked to be about the same age as Kevin and stood a good foot taller than her. He was dressed in a kimono (a guy's kimono, not a girl's.) that had a pale blue shirt and pale green pants. His-very similar to Hiromaru's-emerald eyes looked down at the astonished girl with amusement.

"What? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Kevin continued to stare at the strange boy-fox-thing as her mind tried to catch up with this new development. (Tick, tick, DING!) "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIRO!"

The boy-fox just laughed at her out burst and said "I AM Hiro!"

"HIRO'S NOT SOME BOY-FOX-THING HE'S JUST A FOX!"

"Calm down woman. This is my normal form."

"Well, you must be Hiro because he's the only one who calls me "woman" instead "crazy lady," "Kevin," or "Hell bitch," but why'd you look like a fox before?"

"I thought you'd be less shocked by that form."

"Ooookkkkk…. But why change now?"

"I wanted to unlock the mysteries of this 'PS2.' See? Fingers." Hiromaru said sticking his clawed hand out.

"Fine. But don't think you can beat me at Tekkan Tag© just because you have opposable thumbs now."

And thus the battles began….

Back to Fwee: (Man, this is getting tiring switching back between the two places so much.)

Fwee and her new found partner stepped back into the sunshine as they emerged from the Earth Temple back into the Bird/monkey forest. Now that she could see again she took a better look at her partner. The rat stood over most of the trees as it was looking around as if it hadn't seen the surface for centuries. (Which is probably true.) Its long fur was a deep brown that almost matched the bark of the trees. It had a long pink, hairless tail that it curled around its massive feet as it stood on its back legs to get a better look at its surroundings. It had large black eyes that scanned the horizon and two curved horns on its forehead. Its long black whiskers twitched as it sniffed the air.

"Um" she began, the rat turning its head back to her, "What's your name?"

"Penelope. What's yours?"

"It's Fwee. Wow, I didn't no you were a girl. I mean! Uh, I'm sorry. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, Penelope!"

"Eh, it's ok. And you can call me Peep. It's shorter and it sounds cute! Don't you think?"

"I guess. Hiromaru said we should go back to the Castle of Elements when I woke you up so we should get going."

"Hiromaru? I haven't seen HIM in a while. How is that hot-headed jerk?"

"Uh, he's ok I guess."

"Feh, well, I guess we SHOULD get going huh?" With that Peep (I love that name.) was engulfed in a whirlwind of leaves, blocking her from view. Soon the whirlwind stopped. In her place was a teenage girl. She had the same dark brown hair, completely black eyes, ears, and tail of Peep. She was about the same height as Fwee and was dressed in a girl's kimono that was white with green leaves on it.

"Peep!"

"Yes?"

"Wh-wh-what happened to you!"

"I decided to change into my normal form. I couldn't get around in this forest as big as I am. Now let's see, which way is the castle?" With that Fwee and Peep headed off to the Castle of Elements together telling each other about themselves. The forest once again became quiet except for the occasional hoot from a Bird/monkey. That is until a familiar loud, booming noise said "Yeah, don't even say good bye to ME! I'm just a door after all….." with a sigh the door closed itself again and quietly added "You guys suck." before locking itself for a few more centuries.

* * *

Hikari: FINISHED!

Sunny: Wow, good job. And it only took you 'till checks clock again 6:31PM to finish it. sweat drop

Hikari: Hey! I passed out on the keyboard for a few hours at around 4:30AM! Oh, by the way. I want you to meet our new roommate! holdsup mostly black but some white cat with gold eyes, fangs, and small bat wings His name is Vampire Kitty! Vamp for short!

Sunny: Holy crap! That thing's a vampire!

Hikari: Yes, yes he is.

Sunny: Don't you get it Hikari? It'll suck our blood when we've got our backs turned!

Hikari: Silly tiger demon! If we make sure to not provoke him he'll be just as playful and cuddly as a not-non-living cat!

Vamp: Meow! looks hungry

Hikari: Aw, you hungry, Vamp? Well, let's get you some Meow-Mix! I even added live squirrels just for you!

Sunny: sweat drop

Vamp: Meow! looks extremely happy as his bowl is soon filled with squirrels and crunchy Xs and Os

Hikari: He's sooo cute, right Sunny?

Sunny: He'll smite us all one day! Smite us good! Then you'll wish you had listened to me! runs off screaming about vampire cats and smiting things

Hikari: He's weird isn't he? Strokes Vamp and hums Meow-Mix theme song

Vamp: Meow!


	4. Chapter 4: PonPon and the tiger

Hikari: Ello my duckies! I assume all is well and I will start the next chappy… right after I eat the hearts of my enemies to keep their spirits from rising once again and reeking their bloody revenge…..

Sunny: …..What the hell is wrong with you?

Vamp: 'I will one day kill you all……None of you can understand me can you?'

Hikari: Awww….Vamp-kun looks hungry again /picks up Vamp and snuggles him/ Awwwwwww…You're just the cutest lil thing!

Vamp: 'I'm going to kill you one of these days.'

Sunny: sigh Can we just get on with this? You haven't updated in FOREVER!….And what was with the heart-eating comment?

Hikari: Uhhh….ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

With Pon-Pon after being left at the lake in the field: 

Pon-Pon, after a good ten minutes of sobbing over the lack of her life-long companion, Pan-Pan, she decided that the sooner she found her partner the sooner she could get back to Pan-Pan and the others so she walked to the shore of the lake and looked through the rippling surface to the temple at the sea weed infested bottom.

_How am I gonna get down there? Well, I guess I should try swimming, but it looks REALLY deep…Oh well, I'm getting nothing done by just standing around. _And with that Pon-Pon dived into the cold waters. She made it half way to the temple before her air supply ran short. _Dang! I have to breathe! _She stopped and started to make her way hurriedly to the surface. _I-I'm not gonna make it…_She had to breathe. The surface was too far away. What was she gonna do! Pon-Pon's lungs felt like they had exploded as her body began to sink. _This is it. I'm going to die he-WAIT A SECOND! _To her astonishment, she found that she was breathing, only she wasn't at the surface, she was still underwater and sinking fast. Pon-Pon righted herself and looked around. The Water Temple was only a few more feet and with her new discovery she easily swam to the entrance. _Wow, I guess I really do have the power of water. Hey! There's something carved into the door! "Only the one who wields the power of Poseidon can enter here."_

_Poseidon? Where have I heard that name before... _

TIME FOR A FLASHBACK!

Kevin: Man! You suck at this game, Pon-Pon!

Pon-Pon: Hey! I can't help it if this green guy with that pointy thing won't fight the way I want him to!

Kevin: It's called a trident, and that green guy is Poseidon, Greek god of the sea.

Pon-Pon: Whatever Kevin! Sheesh! Like THAT information would EVER come in handy one day! Now best two out of three?

END FLASHBACK!

_Oh, that green dude, how did Kevin even KNOW that anyway? Oh whatever, now let's see, how can "Poseidon, Greek god of the sea" have anything to do with this_ _Hey! Seawater so then the one with Poseidon's_ _power can wield the element of water! _

Suddenly a loud, booming voice (familiar, huh?) that seemed to come from the doors themselves said "Only the one with the power of Poseidon may enter!"

"AHHHH!" Screamed Pon-Pon "Who are you!"

"I am the entrance to the water temple! You can call me Spencer."

"Um, ok. How do I prove it?"

"You need to figure that out."

"…….Um, ok……. I AM talking to you underwater, and I have these TOTALLY cool shoes I took from Susan!"

"Whoa! Those ARE cool! Go on in!" And with that the doors, now known as Spencer, opened.

With Kevin and Hiro

"I am kicking your ass so bad here Hiro-kun! What's wrong with you?" Asked Kevin as her character, Jin, body slammed Hiromaru's character, Roger, into the pavement of the sidewalk somewhere in downtown New York City on the PS2 game they had rescued from the remains of St. Jimmy.

"That's because I have no clue what I'm doing here." Hiro sighed as Roger was flipped and then had most and/or all of his ribs broken. Kevin merely rolled her eyes.

"Excuses, excuses!"

Back to Pon-Pon in the Water Temple

After passing through the door, Spencer, Pon-Pon found a long tunnel going straight down. It seemed to reach down forever and she was glad she could breathe underwater because no normal human would be able to hold their breath for this long. Suddenly, the tunnel turned upward sharply and ended in an air pocket. She found herself in a large cavern that was made completely out of a blue-gray marble. Around the edges of the cavern Pon-Pon noticed the same seaweed she knew grew outside. They twisted and danced, but they weren't underwater. _Ooookkkkk...That's weird. I'm no expert on water plants, but I don't think they're supposed to do that on dry land. _Pon-Pon, having gotten out of the water, suddenly noticed something that should have been painfully obvious. In the center of the cavern lay a large white tiger with dark blue stripes. Though a better description would be humongous since the tiger was probably ten times as big as Pon-Pon was. "Holy-"Before she could utter the rest of her swear, the tiger rolled onto its stomach making Pon-Pon jump in alarm. When she realized it was just sleeping she relaxed a bit.

_Oh man! This thing's HUGE! Is this supposed to be my partner? I guess there's nothing else here unless Hiromaru expects me to team up with some dancing seaweed. Well, I guess I'm supposed to wake it up now... _"WHAT AM I THINKING! WAKE UP A GIANT KITTY THAT COULD EAT ME LIKE A MOUSE!"

At her loud exclamation, the massive tiger opened its unnaturally intense robin's egg blue eyes and gazed at the terrified teen in amusement.

"Hmm? There hasn't been such an appealing girl in my presence for so long. It is an honor to meet you my dear."

"Uhhh….Hi. I'm Pon-Pon." Pon-Pon said hesitantly.

"I see. Why are you in my temple? No mortal has ever been able to enter. You know, it being underwater and all." The tiger monster said with a yawn as it rose from the tiled floor and licked a mini-van sized paw.

"Well, you wouldn't happen to be my 'elemental partner' would you?"

"Elemental partner? I'm sorry to say I have no clue what you're talking about fair maiden."

"Ah, Hiro-nii must have been wrong then."

The tiger abruptly stopped cleaning his paws and ears and looked at Pon-Pon with an annoyed expression on his whiskered face. "Hiro-nii? Do you mean that obnoxious wind demon Hiromaru?"

"Um, yeah. You know him?" Pon-Pon asked becoming nervous about the feline's sudden change in behavior.

"Unfortunately, yes. He and I as well a few others were under the control of a powerful wizard quite a long time ago." The tiger said with a sigh.

"Wow..." Pon-Pon said in astonishment. _That wizard must have been REALLY powerful cause this guy's huge!_

Suddenly, the large tiger walks to the exit of his sleeping chambers. "We should go. If Hiromaru sent you than he must have sent others to be woken up. Right?"

"Uh, yeah. My sister and my two cousins. Hiro-nii said we had to team up with some elementals."

"So there are four of you then?" the tiger turned and looked at her, again with amusement.

"Yeah, why?"

"Wouldn't that mean that Hiromaru has a partner?" the tiger's eyes flickered with unspoken laughs.

"Yeah. My sister K-chan! Well, actually, that's just a nickname that she hates. I guess we SHOULD go. It'll be dark soon." And with that the tiger and Pon-Pon walked to the end of the pool and right before the dived, the tiger asked,

"What's your sister's real name?"

"Well, Kevin. Though THAT'S not her real name either. It's just what we call her."

"Wait, that doesn't make any sense!" The tiger exclaimed, but Pon-Pon had already disappeared under the water too excited about finally being able to return to Pan-Pan and her other family members.

* * *

Hikari: Whoo hoo! Done! That was fun. 

Sunny: Not really.

Hikari: …party pooper.

Sunny: Shut up.

Hikari: Lalala! I'm not listening! Well, another chapter done. Sorry it took so long.

Next up I think I'll finally get to Pan-Pan's adventure at the Temple of Fire! Yay!

Well,

Ja Ne all my loyal duckies!

Hikari Tsukino


	5. Chapter 5:PanPan gets a new friend

Hikari: Ello my faithful duckies! I'm finally back with the next chapter!

Sunny: Sheesh, where've you been?

Hikari: Establishing an alibi –I mean- baking…cookies?

Sunny: …..I don't want to know what you're talking about, do I?

Hikari: Nope!

Vamp: paws Hikari's leg Meow! _Feed me!_

Hikari: Aww…Hello my favorite kitten in the whole wide world! picks up Vamp and cuddles him

Vamp: Grrr…bites Hikari's neck

Hikari: Ow! No playing rough Vamp! I'll feed you just as soon as the chapter's over.

Sunny: See! He's trying to smite you! grabs Vamp by the nape of his neck

Hikari: Hey! smacks Sunny and cuddles Vamp again Don't touch my baby you bastard!

Sunny: He'll SIMTE US ALL!

Hikari: Shut up. ON WITH THE CHAPPY!

* * *

With Pan-Pan at the entrance to the fire temple:

"……What was I doing again?..." Pan-Pan wondered as she stood in front of the door made of volcanic rock that acted as the entrance to the Temple of Fire. After a good sixteen minutes of contemplating what it was the fox had told her to do, something amazing and totally unexpected happened. "Hey! I remember now! I gotta go inside the volcano and wake up the fire thingy!" And with that, Pan-Pan walked to the door. "Huh? There's writing on the door. "Only the one with the power of Balrog can enter this place." That's weird. What does that even mean?...Balrog! I remember him from The Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring! That movie was SO awesome. Since the Balrog was all flamey and cool I'll bet I have to prove that I have some sorta fire power."

"Damn straight you do." Said a booming voice that seemed to come from the doors themselves.

"Ah! Who are you!" screamed Pan-Pan in alarm.

"I'm Mike, the entrance to the Fire Temple." The doors said.

"Ok then. How do I prove the whole 'Power of Balrog' thing?"

"You could juggle flaming chainsaws."

"….Do I LOOK like I can juggle chainsaws!"

"FLAMING chainsaws."

"Right, whatever."

"You don't really HAVE to. I'm just really bored here."

"Well, Hiromaru said something about my red high-tops being able to get me into the temple, so how 'bout it?"

"….eh, I don't think so."

"What? Why not!"

"I don't FEEL like it. That's why."

"Bastard."

"Oh, I'm SO scared of a little girl in Chuck-Tailors!"

This was the last straw for Pan-Pan. "LITTLE! I'll show you little!" And with that, Pan-Pan beat the living crap out of Mike.

"Ow….Ok, ok, you can go in." and Mike opened. Half of his surface had been dented and there were multiple scratch marks all over him. Over the four-hundred centuries he'd been guarding the Fire Temple, he'd never gotten his ass kicked quite as bad as today, him being a door and all, from a little girl in high-tops. As Pan-Pan entered the temple, Mike muttered under his breath, "If she's one of the four destined to save us, we're really screwed."

* * *

With Fwee and Peep:

"Finally! We made it back!" said a relieved Fwee as she and her new found partner entered the Castle of Elements.

"Yeah. It takes a long time when you just walk here." Remarked Peep cheerfully. It had been an enjoyable trip since she could walk in the sunlight after so long. Not to mention she'd made a new friend. _Fwee may dress strange, but she's so nice. I'm so lucky to have her as a friend._ The two soon found Hiromaru and Kevin in one of the many living rooms playing Tekken Tag©.

"Fwee! You're back!" Said Kevin as the sounds of explosions emanated from the TV.

"Hi Kevin. This is Penelope, she's the embodiment of earth." Said Fwee as she joined Kevin on the tiled marble floor.

"You can call me Peep!" Said Peep in her usually cheery voice as she also sat down and looked at the TV in amazement. "What is this magical device?"

"It's a TV." Hiromaru said bluntly as he concentrated on defeating this undefeatable foe (aka Kevin, even though he'd never tell her that.)

"I am the TEKKEN TAG© MASTER! BOW DOWN TO ME FOOLISH MORTALS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kevin laughed maliciously as she once again killed Hiromaru's character.

"Shut up Kevin." Sighed Hiromaru as he gave the controller to Fwee. "Here. YOU play."

"Well, ok!" was all she said as she took the controller and began to slaughter Kevin's characters.

"Damn you!" Kevin cursed as she tried not to die. (Even though Fwee doesn't act like it, she is extremely talented when it comes to video games.)

* * *

Back to Pan-Pan:

After brutally hurting Mike, the entrance to the Fire Temple, Pan-Pan entered the inactive volcano and found herself suspended above a lake of hot lava by an old, rickety bridge. "This does NOT bode well." Pan-Pan decided that she couldn't go back now and started to cross. Looking across the bridge, she saw that it ended at a large platform a mile or two away. On the platform, she thought she saw some sort of large creature resting, but that couldn't be right. _What IDIOT would be sleeping in a volcano? _That's when the idiot moved. Pan-Pan, having made it more than half-way across the bridge already, froze. _Uh-oh! THAT can't be good! _But it was too late. It turned over and Pan-Pan could now see that it was a giant panda. "E-eh!" Pan-Pan gasped. "A…..Panda in a volcano?" Pan-Pan continued across the rope bridge. This was something worth investigating. _Maybe it got trapped down here. Pandas don't usually CHOOSE to live in volcanoes...Do they? _Reaching the platform the great bear was snoozing on, Pan-Pan stared at it until she could no longer resist the urge to pet it. _So cute! _Pan-Pan giggled as she ran her hand across its gigantic black and white forehead. (Remember kids, petting massive pandas in the bowels of an inactive volcano kills.) Then the fun stopped. A massive eyelid opened and Pan-Pan froze. "Uh….heheh…Hi there Mr. Panda, sir. I was just leaving so…..uh…..BYE!" And with that, Pan-Pan ran, she made it to the rope bridge when a large claw picked her up by the back of her shirt.

"What do we have here?" The panda asked itself in a deep booming voice.

"Well, my name's Pan-Pan. I'm here to wake the fiery thing up. Are you the fiery thingy?"

"Hmm? Well, I suppose so. My name is Zou." The mighty bear said as he pondered the reason for this strange speaking girl to be here.

"…..But you're not an elephant. You know that, right?"

"It is because I am so large that the humans of long ago were reminded of a beast from the main land and thus named me after it."

"Ooohhh….That makes sense I guess. Listen, the foxy dude said to go back to the palace once I woke the fiery thing."

"You are referring to the kitsune known as Hiromaru? I suppose we should make haste. Hiromaru is not known for his patience." Zou said reasonably as he set his new partner on his back and leapt over the ancient bridge and out of the temple.

* * *

With Pon-Pon and the Water Tiger

Having left the lake of the water temple far behind, Pon-Pon and her elemental partner walked through a grassy field on their way to the Castle of Elements. They hadn't talked since the temple and our little blonde heroine was becoming impatient.

"So Tiger, what's your name?" She asked the striped being leisurely strolling next to her.

After emerging from the lake, the tiger had decided to shrink considerably to the size of a normal tiger to avoid stepping on anything. (Like a horse or something.) It now raised its head and seemed to smile at her question.

"Ame. Beautiful isn't it?" the tiger said with a confident smirk. (How do tigers smirk? I'm confusing myself here…Anyway,)

"That's a fitting name for a water thing-y!" Pon-Pon said with a smile that could light up a rainy day. (One of those cute smiles…I swear the room really DOES get brighter when my sister does it!)

Ame sweat dropped, _"Water thing-y?" That's a pretty undignified way of putting it._ He thought, _These humans have no respect for the greater powers._ They continued for another fifteen minutes in silence until the great tiger decided that this was taking too much time. "My lady Pon-Pon, get on. We'll get to the palace by high noon if I run." Ame said as he crouched down in front of the confused girl.

"Wha-? Well, ok." Pon-Pon agreed after a moment of thought. _I guess there's no harm in it. I've never ridden on a tiger before. This could be fun!_ And with that, Pon-Pon got on her partner's striped back and he took off.

* * *

With Pan-Pan and Zou

Though Zou was a slow mover, he retained his full height so a single bound crossed a few miles at least; it wasn't long before they had reached the Castle. Pan-Pan waved at Fwee, who was watering a strange looking potted flower on one of the balconies.

"Hiiiiii Fweeee!" The excitable teenager cried as Zou screeched to a halt outside the main gate. If he hadn't, he'd probably tripped over it and crushed a few of the Castle's pillars. He set Pan-Pan on the ground and watched as Kevin, Fwee, Hiromaru, and Peep came running out to meet them.

"Wooowww! That's a big panda!" Kevin pointed in awe as she bent her back to look at Zou.

"Kevin! Don't be rude!" Hiromaru said as he slapped her hand, "Hmph, humans have no respect for the greater powers!" (Indeed.)

"How kind of you to care for my pride, Hiromaru-san." Zou said in a deep voice that, Fwee noticed, rattled the windows. The fox gave snort and flipped some of his golden locks over his shoulder.

"Don't take it personal Bear-boy. I'm just looking out for our reputations."

"Um, it's very nice to meet you Fire Bear, but….uh….How're you supposed to get into the palace?" Fwee asked, trying to be as polite as possible seeing as how the fire beast was at least twice as big as Peep was in her giant animal form. (Pandas are waayyy bigger than rats. Look it up sometime. You'll know I'm right.) Zou looked down at himself, as if realizing that he was towering above everything else.

"Ah yes, that could be a problem." He replied and a tornado of flames surrounded him. (Somehow, someway, no one was hurt.) The flames shrunk suddenly and dissipated, in the panda's place was a boy about Pan-Pan's age, though he was easily taller than the others. (About 6'9".) Black, fuzzy panda ears sat on top of his head, but besides that, Zou's humanoid form was manly. His dark red (male) kimono-shirt-thing had been parted and his dark gray pants had been cut short so they looked more like shorts. He brushed black strands out of his face, but his bangs were stubborn and they went right back into place, veiling his strangely white eyes. He gave up on trying to manage his unruly hair and instead turned his attention to his wide-eyed partner. Pan-Pan had been staring with her mouth agape.

"Wh-What the?"

"I'm a spirit of fire, right?" The tall panda man asked.

"uh….right?" Pan-Pan replied somewhat hesitantly.

"Well, that means that I can do things normal bears can't, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

"So, is me turning into a human-like creature really that amazing?"

"Touché, Panda-man." Pan-Pan said after a while. Fwee looked behind the group of people to the Castle. She opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again.

"Ah…uh…um…guys?" Fwee asked as she tugged on Pon-Pon's shirt.

"What is it, Honey?" Peep turned to the worried girl. The others also turned to her, then the Castle.

"Omigod! THE HELL IS THAT!" Kevin yelled and pointed frantically. Pon-Pon and Pan-Pan gasped and the elementals' eyes widened.

"This…is NOT good!" Hiromaru said finally and then sped towards his home.

* * *

Hikari: Well, there you go. Not a bad chapter, huh?

Sunny: You don't update in forever and now you have a cliffhanger!

Hikari: I'm quite the evil bitch that way.

Vamp: Meow. pounces on Sunny's head

Sunny: AAAHHHH! I'M BEING ATTACKED! runs around screaming about evil kitties

Hikari: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Whoo…That's good stuff. Anyway, the next chapter will be up sooner than this one since school's out of the summer. I'm gonna be in 10th grade next year! Go me! I….really hope I don't screw-up….

Vamp: stops biting Sunny's head and jumps down onto Hikari's lap Mew…_If you do, I'll eat your brains since they won't be of any use to you then._

Hikari: Awww….Are you trying to cheer me up, my sweet lil bundle of chocolate-y goodness?

Sunny: ….That cat's made of chocolate?

Hikari: No, but I can dream can't I?

Sunny: ….Just shut up and write, psycho.

Hikari: M'kay!


	6. Chapter 6

Weird Quote: "As I was sitting there, wondering why Frisbees get bigger when they get closer, it hit me."

Hikari: Hiya everybody! Wazzup? You will not believe the day I've had! You see, there was this-

Sunny: -Hikari!

Hikari: Hmm?

Sunny: How can you be blathering on about something as stupid as how your day went when you left the readers with a cliffhanger for months?!?!

Hikari: ….Alright fine, don't get your tail in a knot. Sheesh! So, here you all go…..

* * *

Pon-Pon woke early as usual. Yawning, she opened her dresser drawer. Inside was only a pair of black pants and a white shirt. After dressing, she descended the old wooden stairs to the kitchen. She needed to fix breakfast for the others. _I need to remember to call Pan-Pan today. _She thought as she opened the pantry. Pon-Pon hummed a cheerful tune as she reached for a bottle.

"Good morning Sunshine!" A voice said from behind her. Startled, she spun around to face a grinning man with extremely tan skin and silver hair who appeared to be in his forties.

"Gosh Dad! Don't do that!" (Pon-Pon never uses the Lord's name in vain.)

"Hahahaha!!! Don't be so jumpy!" He laughed as he gave her a slap on the back, "By the way, nice pants. Blue is a good color on you."

"Huh?" Looking down, Pon-Pon's pants were indeed a light cerulean blue. "Why are you blue?!" She asked her pants, dumbfounded. In response, the pants changed color.

"Now I'm GREEN!!!" they said.

"Wow! You're amazing!"

"HELL YEAH I am!"

And they laughed and laughed……

THE END

* * *

Sunny: Hikari….

Hikari: Ok, not really. Here's the real story;

* * *

"Omigod!!! THE HELL IS THAT?!?!" Kevin yelled and pointed frantically. Pon-Pon and Pan-Pan gasped and the elementals' eyes widened.

"This…is NOT good!" Hiromaru said finally and then sped towards his home. Coiled around a turret, an incredibly large viper hissed and spat venom.

In Fwee's POV

I stepped back in time to avoid a small drop of poison that landed on the grasses growing in between the stone walkway. I couldn't believe my eyes as a dandelion burst into sickly green and black flame.

"What…IS that thing?!" I asked myself. Peep placed a hand on my shoulder and said in a foreboding tone,

"It's Greed. He's here to take you destined ones away from us, honey."

"What are we going to do?" I asked. If that thing was trying to kidnap us, it would probably hurt Penelope and all the other elementals. _I may not know these people that well, but I won't let them get hurt!_ (Awww, Fwee's the good girl in our little group.Grin)

Ending Fwee's POV

Hiromaru stopped a few feet away from the serpent and glanced behind him at Kevin, who was running to join him. When she did, she gazed in awe at Greed's magnificent scales. "Daammnn….It's scales look like they're made outta gold… And the eyes look like rubies!" The great fox demon gave an exasperated sigh and, as though he was merely discussing the weather, said,

"That's because they are. He is Greed after all."

"E-eh?! Are you serous?" Kevin looked at a loss for words at that particular moment. (Which doesn't happen often, trust me.) Greed leered down at them from atop his perch and said,

"Quite. You'd be surprised how wonderful gold is for armor, little girl." Growling, Hiromaru took a step forward and replied,

"All the gold in this world can't save you from my claws, you overgrown garden snake! Kevin! Hurry, close your eyes and hold out your hands!" Kevin hesitantly did what he said. Then she opened one eye.

"Y-you're not going to give me a spider….are you?"

"Oh for the love of- Stop being such a girl and do it so we can kill this slithering bastard!" So Kevin closed her eyes again. Suddenly, she felt a strong gust of wind and when she opened her eyes, Hiromaru was gone. In her hands was a silver bow with small wings on it. A familiar fox was masterfully etched into it surrounded by feathers. A matching quiver, filled with arrows, was strapped to her back. Truth be told, they didn't match her black outfit at all. Something else felt different, but she couldn't place her finger on it. _Ah well, its probably not important._ _What IS important is where the hell Hiro-chan ran off to. I thought he was all for kicking Greed's scaly ass, but now he's nowhere to be found!_ **First of all, don't call me that. Second, I didn't run away. I'm right in front of you**,** dumbass.**

"What? Who said that?!" Kevin looked back and forth she noticed that the others were now by her side and staring at her like she'd sprouted a second head and her two heads had begun singing songs from the movie _The Producers._ (I totally worship that movie! It's SO awesome!) She decided that she would ask them about it after she found out who was talking to her through her mind when it hit her. No, not a brick, not more snake venom, it was a sudden realization. The only one who could POSSIBLY be communicating with her via telepathy was "….God?" **What? No! It's me! Hiromaru! I'm your bow you retarded monkey!** "Hey, there's no reason for you to call me a monkey, jerk!" Hiromaru sighed. (He's been doing that a lot lately.) **Listen, you need to fight this guy ok? If we don't, he'll take you and your little friends to HIM and that'll mean the end of freedom for us. Got it?** "What, are you serious? **Very. It's easy, just take one of the arrows, put it on the bow-string, and**- "I know how to shoot. I was in my school's archery club last year." **I have no idea what this 'school' thing is, but at least that'll make this a whole lot easier for us to win.** Greed seemed bored with watching a girl talk to a bow so he cleared his throat noisily to get her attention.

"Ahem! As entertaining as you are, I think I'll just take you and your friends and we can be on our way."

"Nuh-uh scaly-butt! I'm staying right here." And with that, Kevin notched a winged arrow and let fly. It soared through the air and stuck into Greed's massive forehead. (Why is everything on Joesterville really big?) Sure it was too small to cause much damage. In fact, he didn't even bleed, but the hiss that escaped his mouth was enough to tell half the island that he was in pain. He quickly slithered down the turret and disappeared in a large cloud of green-black fire. "D-damn! I think I killed him!" **No, he's far too powerful to be taken down with one shot. Nice aim by the way.** "Ok, you must've not seen the same fire exit I saw, cause that was pretty cool….And fatal looking." **He used his flame to teleport back to his lair to recover. His whole skeleton is made out of diamonds **"Wow, that's pretty bitching." **Uh…What? **"It basically means cool." **Oh. Then yes, yes it is.**

"Uh….Kevin? Who are you taking to?" Pan-Pan asked, finally finding her voice. Kevin held up the bow. As if that explained everything. "….Your bow?"

"Yeah. It's Hiro-chan." she said. Fwee looked at Pon-Pon, Pon-Pon looked at Pan-Pan, all of them looked at the elementals for some sort of answer. None of said beings looked surprised in the least.

"Hiromaru-san transformed into Kevin-dono's weapon so that she could defeat Greed." Zou explained. Pon-Pon raised her hand. "Yes?"

"Is Greed that really big shiny snake thingy?"

"To put in bluntly, yes."

"Oohhhh…That makes sense, but what about Kevin? What the heck happened to her?" Pan-Pan nodded. This got Kevin confused.

"Huh? What do you mean 'what happened to Kevin?' I talk to inanimate objects all the time." She said. (This is true.) Her cousins (and sister) looked at each other again then Fwee finally decided to do something.

"Cover your ears guys." Ame, still in tiger form, (It just now occurred to me that he's the only one still not a humanoid. I'll fix that soon.) blinked,

"Why? What's that?" he asked as Fwee took a compact mirror out of the pocket of her black jeans. Then she handed it to Kevin…

Far, far away in a country known to most as Canada, a man and his son drive out onto the lake in their fishing boat. A fine mist covers its surface and in the distance, a moose is heard making….uh….moose noises. (Not quite sure what you call it.) What a perfect day. He casts his line and settles into the long wait that comes with the sport. He pops open a beer from the cooler under the seat and his son….David let's call him fidgets in his seat. He really wanted to be home, where he knew his TV was sitting, unwatched and unloved. Suddenly, a girlish scream pierced the air. Startled, David jumps up….And falls backwards into the lake. The scream's echo eventually faded out and the birds continued their songs, the moose went back to whatever they do to kill time in the afternoon. (They play pinball at the arcade. Oh wait, that's me. Never mind! Sunny: Back to the main characters dumbass! Hikari: Oh right. Sorry!)

Kevin panted and stared wide-eyed at her reflection. Pon-Pon, like the others, had their hands covering their ears. (I doubt it did much good against a scream that could be heard in Canada. I mean, they're like in the freaking Mediterranean Sea!) "What in God's name is wrong with you, K-chan?!" she said as she rubbed her poor ears.

"I…I-I'm BLONDE!!!" And indeed she was. Her hair had turned from a dark chocolate brown to a sunny golden blonde. Not only that, but her eyes weren't black anymore. They were a deep emerald. "Hiro-chan….." She said with a lot more malice than usual. **Not my fault, man. **"Don't give me that! What the hell have you done to me?!" **That's just what happens when you use my power.** "And how do I go back?" **We probably just need to become individuals again. One second. **There was another gust of wind and there Hiromaru stood, totally normal and smug. Kevin was back to normal and still pissed off.

"There, happy now?" Hiromaru asked.

"Nooo…...Well, slightly since I got my hair color back, but if you EVER do that again I will destroy you."

"Right, well I saved your ass so be more thankful."

"What? You made me BLONDE!"

"I turned into a weapon of amazing power. The bow? That was me, remember?"

"Whatever Fox-boy." Kevin said as she turned away and walked into the castle.

"DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME!!!"

And so, things took on a sense of normality in the Castle of Elements, for a while anyway.

* * *

Hikari: Holy Christ on a stick! Did I actually finish?!...Yes, yes I did.

Sunny: Finally. It's been so long I bet all the readers had forgot about you.

Hikari: Don't say stuff like that! You all remember me, right? ...Right?!

Sunny: Not likely.

Hikari: ……bitch.

Sunny: WHAT?!?!?

Hikari: Stay tuned! The next chapter will be up a lot sooner than you'd think!

Sunny: Hopefully.


End file.
